How can struggling seniors afford life insurance in this economy?
OnlySeniors is the answer, according to Saturday Night Live — a provider that provides cost-effective insurance to seniors. All it takes is filling out a few forms and a willingness to engage in some naughty on-camera behavior.
Quinta Brunson and Kenan Thompson are the seniors in question, and their kids can’t believe their parents are having sex for money. This isn’t paying for insurance, they cry — it’s OnlyFans!
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Nah, it’s OnlySeniors. And it’s not all about S-E-X, explains Thompson. Their chat babies like to see the geriatric couple doing “all kinds of stuff,” which involves any activity in which the couple gets nekkid, tastefully pixelated by SNL. Their fans provide live comments as the bare-assed couple dances around their living room. “Oh grandpa’s still got it,” writes one commenter, followed by the eggplant emoji. “Who needs a little blue pill when you have this?” asked another.
Nude neighbors from next door, sporting gray hair above and below, join in on the fun. It’s all innocent, just drinking coffee and tying each other up. The key is getting “buck ball naked.”
The kids can’t stand it. The idea of all the seniors getting busy make them sick. Get real, say the aging parents. How do the kids think they got there in the first place? “We were strokin’!”
Besides, they say, life is short. What’s the harm in setting up a little camera in the bedroom? And the living room? And the shower? “And especially, the toilet.”
The kids’ complaining wakes up the naked neighbors, which is just as well — Mr. Johnson’s pill has just kicked in. It’s time to get busy for the chat babies.
It’s a goofy premise, but if proposed government cuts to Social Security and Medicaid go through, who’s to say this kind of service wouldn’t make sense?
It’s a sobering idea whose time may have come: “OnlySeniors. Protect your family by getting buck ball naked.”
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