As a jaded pervert in this new world of average everyday sex workers, it takes more than the standard to impress me. It takes even more for me to spend actual bread to see the goods, especially in this climate of dime-a-dozen OnlyFans creators. When I first came across Sarena Banks, the self-titled “most flexible, most naughty online girlfriend,” I wasn’t impressed. She looks like a Megan Fox clone, of which there are also plenty.
But maybe her content and boasts of flexibility could change my mind.
Content ⅗
Out of all the content in the 3650 media tab, only 640 are videos, and most of those are 15-second or less clips. Although most of the lengthier videos are behind a paywall (which sucks), what you do have access to has a variety to it. For example, you can see the woman doing anything from cosplaying as a nun to stiffly doing pole dancing in her house. There’s a video of the girl sprawled up a tree she just climbed, with every angle on display; that’s new to me. Usually, it’s just a girl in a nondescript bedroom shaking and uploading, so some scenery is nice. But again, there is little if no nudity in these offerings, and a lot of 90s COPS and Girls Gone Wild censors across the goods in the photos section. She doesn’t really do it for me personally, but I’m sure she attracts a type, and her legion of 100.5K fans proves it.
She didn’t censor this in my DMs. I just needed y’all to know I put my money where my mouth is and sent her a tip.
Serena says “I’m you’re most flexible, most naughty online girlfriend,” on her bio, so I scoured her page for some flexible thumbnails. Although I saw a lot of risque groin shots, stiff gyration, and pyramid splits on the bed, I didn’t see many flexible angles outside of the tree video I mentioned earlier. Maybe those flexible poses are reserved for those who pay the toll. But at least give us a prime example of those limbs in action before asking for the bread. I mean, it IS a free account. She doesn’t even have a foot behind her head, which she also boasts in her bio, at least as far as I can tell.
She has content extending anywhere from a few minutes to a couple of hours, the latter usually being a bundle of some of her previous LIVE videos. I’ve seen a couple of lives bundled at 3 hours go for $35, and I’ve seen “10 lives” bundled for the same price, which also capped at 3 hours. But just like Forrest Gump’s box of chocolates, you never know what you’re gonna get based on her descriptions. Just that they’re “hot” and usually 3 hours long.
Connection: ⅖
I hit her with the babe in the woods routine of not knowing how this custom content thing works and if she could help me set something up. I messaged around 9 PM, and she responded a little after midnight, talking about “what would you like to see me do and say for you baby?” By this time, though, I was already asleep. About an hour later, I get a whole paragraph where she goes, “You know babe, I’ve been thinking and I’d really LOVE to set up a video call with you this week! TBH I have been so horny but my man just isn’t doing it for me lately. 🤫 Think you can help me get off? 🥵💦💦” I appreciate the dedication, but maybe it was automated. Finally, close to noon, when I got around to checking these messages, she reiterated her custom content menu from her bio, “B/G, GG, SOLO? 😈”
After the rigamarole of detailing what I wanted the custom content to look like—which wasn’t much—some mild stretching and some nude spreading under a minute in length, I was flabbergasted at what she said next. “I could do that for $350, baby.”
What?
“Normally my customs start at $500 but theyre not normally that short so ill give you a deal baby 💋”
WHAT?
I shut the whole operation down, I closed my incognito tab, and I went to the gym; I needed to clear my mind cause ain’t no way.
Personalized Care ⅗
I actually didn’t come back until the next day when I was about to unlock one of her $10 joints in the DMs for inspection instead. That’s when I saw her message “tip me $5 and I will send you a nude 😉.” I already feel like a rube at an antique auction, a feeling I tend to avoid when consuming smut, but I buy both anyway for journalistic integrity.
The $10 unlockable actually had stretching! It was a G/G video with her and a blonde friend with orange shorts reminiscent of a Hooters girl. Although the stretching was rather basic, it held my attention during the face-down doggy positions. As it went on, and they began simulating sex, I couldn’t help but laugh at the 2000s stripper rap music in the background, from Nelly to Freeway’s “Roc The Mic.” About 3 minutes in, they’re both nude, and they both have great bodies, but the vibe is very 2000s Cinemax porno, down to their sexy talk. There’s nothing wrong with that if that’s what you’re into, but the energy is very present in the content, and customers should know that going in. The last part I’ll highlight is them stacking on top of the other with their asses pointing to the camera and spreading wide open. It was nice. The nude pic, which ended up being three in a gallery, was a thumbs up as well, as she adorned a fancy safari hat and used both hands to spread open the peach.
In Conclusion
The content is pretty good, especially if you miss the aesthetic of 90s-00s sex appeal in this new age of zero production, BBLs, and bathroom videos. But it’s a free account, so don’t expect much without paying. When you do, it’ll be worth it, at least when it’s around $5-$15. I suggest staying away from the custom content, though—it’s not cheap—and sticking with the unlockables if the descriptions (if any) and teasers meet your fancy.
Content: 3/5
Connection: 2/5
Personalized Care: 3/5
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