BEING single in the modern world of dating is no easy task – from people swiping no in seconds on apps to having sexual content at the tip of your finger tips – it means many are failing to form long-lasting bonds.
Relationship expert Sadia Khan reveals that the sexual revolution is to blame as men are becoming less masculine.
Sitting down on the couch with Married At First Sight‘s Paul Brunson the pair discussed how modern dating and porn has caused more harm than good when it comes to finding a life partner on his podcast, We Need To Talk.
They reveal that the Sexual Revolution which took place in the 70s and changed societies outlook on sexual behaviours is still playing a role today and has decreased masculinity in men and heightened it in women.
She says: “It allowed men access to sex without having to be a man.
“Previously, you would have to be a man to access a vagina. It would literally be, you have to bring some masculinity to the table in order to see vagina, to touch vagina, to be around a woman.
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“So they would have to work on traits that would make them more of a man and make them more appealing. So the standard of men would have to be somewhat high.”
She went on to say this didn’t mean they had to be millionaires, but they had to bring something to the table such as plans to get married and have children – essentially playing the ‘provider and protector’ role.
But since women were able to be more liberal with sexual desires – it means men don’t have to use their masculinity to have sex, while women are becoming more so.
“I think what it did is it really killed masculinity, but at the same time, it enhanced masculinity in women,” Sadia explained. “And then how it enhanced it in women is there is no more frugality of who they share their body with.”
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The relationship expert went on to say women are practising detached sex more and more which she deems as a more masculine aprroach.
A feminine approach would be about connection she adds -‘eye contact, connection, touch, taste, everything.’
Now she says marriages often end because women are in the drivers seat taking on practical tasks, and this shift makes women feel like they are having to treat their partner like their child.
“As a result, she gets frustrated because she sees him as an extra child rather than as a leader in the marriage,” she explained.
But that’s not the only problem wreaking havoc on modern relationships according to the relationship expert.
She revealed sites like OnlyFans were detrimental to the dating world, but it wasn’t the models who were the problem, it was the men signing up to see them.
Paul’s Key Takeaways
After sitting down with relationship expert Sadia Khan Paul shared his top three takeaways from their conversation.
- A strong partner communicates their needs, clearly offers love and support and strikes a healthy balance. On the other hand, a lack of boundaries or overly rigid ones are red flags and can hinder a relationship’s success.
- When choosing a partner, Sadia believes you should look for someone whose values truly align with yours, rather than simply focusing on the superficial looks of a person. She also suggests that the way someone sets and maintains their boundaries are elements you should look at closely when choosing a partner.
- Developing healthy boundaries and self-control is crucial for lasting, fulfilling relationships. Sadia stresses the importance of practising self-discipline, especially when it comes to managing finances and regulating one’s emotions.
Sadia revealed paying to look at a naked women who doesn’t like you can only make men hate themselves in the long run.
“You have to feel pathetic. And if you don’t, you should. Because the self-esteem of a man is really measured by what he does in the dark,” she said.
“If secretly he’s watching a lot of pornography and paying for OnlyFans girls, trying to see them nakedly, there’s no way he can be proud of that behaviour.
“And as a result, he slowly starts to dislike himself. And he engages in more and more self-destructive behaviour. So I don’t think it’s a healthy environment.”
The clip posted to his YouTube account was a hit with viewers and people quickly shared their views.
One person wrote: “Another excellent talk not much to add but lots to take away.”
Another commented: “This was a very interesting and thought provoking conversation!”
“Love this insightful interview. Seeing things from a different perspective and culture is very eye opening and valuable.,” penned a third.
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Someone else added: “Great interview guys… Some very important gems were dropped here! I appreciate you both.”
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