What better start to a Monday than to attend Westminster Magistrates’ Court? I was there for the trial of the young OnlyFans model Victoria Thomas Bowen who threw a banana milkshake at my face on the day that I launched my campaign in Clacton. Unbelievably, she planned to plead not guilty despite the fact that the whole thing was caught on camera. Rumours that her reason for doing all of this was because I had unsubscribed from her page are untrue. There was the usual circus of media outside as I arrived, but Victoria still insists she didn’t throw the milkshake just to get publicity for her website. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision, she says. Then at the last minute she pleaded guilty. The judge was not impressed. A huge amount of time and public money has been wasted on this charade. The sentencing date is set for 16 December, when she’ll get even more publicity. So it goes. As I left I noticed that Victoria was one of the very few British people to face justice that day. Most of the people on the list were Romanian criminals facing extradition. Funny that!

It was a fun-packed day. Later in the afternoon I gave a witness statement to the Metropolitan Police over a recent threat to kill me. I had covered on my social media channels the journey of a man called Mada Pasa as he made his way from Stockholm to Calais. He is, we believe, from Syria and would not therefore be deported when he gets into our country, as Syria is on the government’s ‘unsafe’ list. Pasa has a Kalashnikov tattooed on his cheek and in one TikTok post his colleague waves a handgun about. I made all this public to highlight the fact that we have some very dangerous people arriving on our shores. In response, Pasa made threatening posts, including one in which he insists that he will shoot me. Such are the joys of public life in 2024. I must need my bumps felt for getting back into politics.

It isn’t just the mega-rich who are quitting the UK. At a family wedding in Hong Kong, I met lots of young British expats who’d fled the country, and all of them seemed to be enjoying life outside the UK, especially with top rates of tax at 17 per cent. The brain drain last seen in 1978 is in full swing, and it’s always the brightest and most ambitious young people – the ones this country needs the most – who head off first. They go to the likes of Lisbon and Dubai. All of this started under the last Tory government and I have no doubt the problem will escalate after the doom Budget in a few days. It’s sad to see.

I have to confess that the ways of parliament are still a complete mystery to me. Though clearly not a fan of the European Parliament, at least I knew, on the Monday morning of a sitting week, what the times of the various votes and debates would be for the next few days. Not so in Westminster. This means that instead of tending to their constituents, MPs have to spend their time waiting around pointlessly. Trying to do the job to which I was elected and run and help organise a rapidly growing political party (more than 90,000 members now) is proving something of a challenge. I also still regularly get lost as I go from building to building.

A shocking 25,000 constituents in Clacton will lose their winter fuel allowance. There is pension credit available for the brave pensioners who dare tackle the application form, but the form itself is 243 questions long, and by definition the people who need it most are old and often short-sighted or confused. We are setting up a series of local surgeries across the constituency to help those who ought to qualify for pension credit, and I am very grateful to the local volunteers who are prepared to spend time helping.

The real highlight of this week for me is of course Americano Live: the US election special with The Spectator in London, chaired by Freddy Gray, The Spectator’s deputy editor. I’ve been very much looking forward to it. The betting markets are saying Trump will win, and the betting markets are right (and the editor of this magazine is wrong). People are beginning to see a side of Donald Trump that I’ve known for many years: he is just the most tremendous fun. He has a great sense of humour, unlike Kamala, who laughs but only as a nervous tic. This makes her seem less human, not more. The image of the next President of the United States at a McDonald’s drive-through in a McDonald’s apron putting salt on the chips is one that will live long in the memory. If he does it again, I’ll volunteer to stand beside him and serve the milkshakes.

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